022 - How Do You Look To Other People?

Today’s question for consideration is this: Do others see you differently than you see yourself? 

Whether your social behaviors are something you developed because of the circumstances of a certain phase of your life, or something that’s been ingrained in your DNA since birth, how we think these proclivities are perceived by others, may be a lot different than how they actually are.

Below you’ll find a table that shows common behaviors you might engage in when interacting with others, how you may think they come off, and how they might actually be interpreted by other people.

The key word in these examples is may. Some of these behaviors may in fact work just as you think they do, and be winning in certain situations, with certain people, and in the context of your overall personality.

So too, even if they’re not working in the way you think they are, you may not wish to alter them because you feel they’re an important expression of your real self.

As the authors of First Impressions put it, the point of this self-examination exercise, then, is simply to “identify gaps between how you think you come across and how others actually perceive you, so you can make changes if you want to and when you want to[emphasis mine].”

Improving your social skills isn’t about trying to be someone you’re not, but making sure that other people perceive you in the way you want be perceived — making sure that the impression you make presents your best qualities and is more accurate, not less.

It is very commonly the case that your social behaviors do come off differently than you realize — in a way that’s at odds with your true personality and desires, and disguise rather than reveal what you’re really like. In such cases, it behooves you to tweak those habits so that you present yourself in a more positive and authentic way. We love you. - Granny & Paw

Source: Social Briefing #2: Do Others See You Differently Than You See Yourself? Brett and Kate McKay • February 8, 2017 • Last updated: September 26, 2021
The table is from First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You You can find even more examples in the tables available on their website.
Image: by Andre Mouton, Pexels